A Man's Guide to Pleasing Women

Interviewer: I've seen some recent interviews that you've done about sexual function . . . 

Nick Delgado, PhD, CHT: Yes.

Interviewer: . . . and almost everybody changes as we get older. Is it simply a hormone issue, because that's a big part of quality of life as we age. Is it simply hormones, or is it more than that?

Nick Delgado, PhD, CHT: Yeah, you know . . .

Interviewer: It's both men and women.

Nick Delgado, PhD, CHT: Yeah. I'm blessed because in the early years I was almost . . . it must have been 35 years old. I did a lecture in Long Beach just down the street from here and it was at Rochelle's Hotel. And there was a whole group of seniors, must have been 70, 80 year olds in the audience, literally. You know, the youngest character, I think, was 65 in the audience. And the room was packed and the topic was Sex and Sizzle in Relationships. And I prepared this whole talk that I went to great lengths and I manuscripted it all this research: how to please a woman, and what does it take to bring a woman to orgasm, and what do men need to optimally perform and achieve erectile function at any age.

I went through everything and the strangest thing is I'm doing this talk and in those days it was 35mm slides, because I've been doing lectures for 35 years and now it's PowerPoint, right? And I'm changing these slides and I'm looking at the audience and I'm sharing this exciting information. I'm really passionate and jumping around like I always do and talking, and not one word. Not one reaction. Not a laughter, not one, you know, anything. And I'm watching the whole audience and I'm thinking "Oh, God. I bombed. I bombed." In my head I'm like, "I don't think I can get through the talk."

I get to the end of a two hour talk, right?  The people line up quietly. It was just that generation. They come up each one by one saying, "It was a marvelous lecture and I have a few questions." So it gave me encouragement that look, maybe we just did have the same generational gap there, and it was something that they didn't publicly talk about sex. It was pre-Viagra, you know? So here I'm talking about all these sexual things, very distinct and so I wrote a current manuscript for the American Academy. I'm teaching medicine and it's published in their Therapeutics Medical Journal and I'm told that it's going to be put in Harvard, in Stanford and all the top medical libraries.

But I did a complete review of sexual function, sexual diseases, certain things we can do to restore sexual energy. And so I'm really passionate about the subject. I think that there is a degree of sexual awakening that we need to realize that the human body is an animal. We are animals and the moment we ignore the fact that dogs are seeking a partner, want to have sex; elephants are seeking a partner when they want to have sex; the smallest little nat is seeking a partner, wants to have sex. And somehow we're trying to suppress this thing that we need sex. It's an energy that flows and it's okay and it's matching the chromosomes of the significant other. Her chromosomes are different than yours and somehow there are stronger attractions to people that have a different chromosome making. Because the same chromosome we know, from brother marrying a sister, that we develop genetic flaws. So we have to have these genetic differences. 

So we're attracted and not necessary that opposites attract, but I just mean the genetics. There's just a certain thing that when you see a person, and they say it's called love at first sight. It's PEA, phenylethylamine. It's the same thing that people eat chocolate and they get this little rush of PEA and they go, "Oh, I like chocolate." Well, it's this hormone that comes from the brain and it's literally been identified as love at first sight. So there's this stimulus initially and then you have to have enough cortisol, your adrenal function, to even deal with the stress of seeking a partner, because there's a little bit of combativeness, you know? 

You're asking for a date or trying to figure out what's your line, how you're going to introduce yourself and she's kind of like, "You know, I don't know. Is this character good enough for me?" And so you've got a little chase there. You've got to have enough adrenal to deal with the stress of the chase. And if you don't have that spark to chase, it's never going to happen because you can't get past the first to even get her phone number. 

So after you get her phone number, now we're there. So the next step is, "Okay. We're in this place where we're going to go away to the rule of three, three dates." You know, you have three dates, she finally feels comfortable with you and maybe she's open to you and you have some great discussions as women love to talk. You've got to learn: Are they kinesthetic, auditory, or visual? Find out what their communicative style. It's a whole [NLP] thing that really helps. And then learn how each other communicates. And then at the sexual level, how do you communicate? How relaxed are you with that?

And sure, hormones play a big role. I think that testosterone is so overlooked as it declines with age, we have to resort to Viagra if we don't have enough testosterone. The reality is if we have optimum testosterone levels and we clear out the harmful estrogens, we balance the DHA, cortisol levels, there's even (inaudible[04:36]) hormone, which gives you a suntan a little bit and it also improves erectile function. 

So there's a number of hormones and herbs that I've discovered over the last 35 years that I think are intricate part to taking, say a 56-year-old, and help them to get the sexual ability of a 22-year-old. So now you have the maturity of age to be a little bit more respectful and maybe have more fun in your life from the golden years, but at the same time enjoy sex like the best you've ever had in your life.

So I think that the mind, the body, the hormones all go together. So sex is a thing that should have your hormones analyzed. Make sure if there's any deficiencies we'll give you the right supplementation regimes. A good exercise program, good mindset, get to sleep early. Sometimes morning sex is the best. You're up too late at night, hormones aren't where they are and men sometimes can't find that they can perform. And I think there's another problem with sex and that is that there's this whole thing with this pressure of men to somehow achieve an erection and please the woman when [Kinsey, Masters and Johnson] stated clearly that is very difficult for a woman to achieve orgasm through intercourse. So basically there's about 12 different areas, sensitive areas, particularly the clitoris, which winds around down into the G-spot. And the G-spot is the extension of the clitoris. 

So once a man understands that most women love to use a vibrator, they will take a vibrator over a man any day, and if you just teach a woman how through oral sex - and I call water sex, but take a little water apparatus and applying the right pressure to the clitoris area - engaging into this whole pre-build up, particularly talking to a woman. I mean, there's some very nice sexual, that's why romance novels are so big. They sell more than the Bible. I mean, women love reading romance novels. They see themselves in these pictures. So you have to create pictures for women, tell them stories, and kind of lead up to the date. Text your woman, "Hey, I can't wait  to see you tonight. I'm really looking forward to seeing you." Just really loving, sweet things.

And by the time it all comes together, there's this massive explosion of sex and energy and juice and it's an animalistic thing that's sensual, and you're in that moment. It's like better than anything you've ever experienced. But then there's this dichotomy of love and hate that comes in with relationships and divorce. And so the very person you love, you fall out of love with, and why does that happen? I think part of it is just we have these expectations. We have to just step back a little bit and learn a little bit more about the communication of love.